


To Find There But The Road Back Home Again

by Olsies



Category: Teen Wolf (TV), due South
Genre: F/M, M/M, Miscommunication, ace!derek hale, ace!stiles stilinski
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-04
Updated: 2015-04-04
Packaged: 2018-03-21 06:52:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3682197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Olsies/pseuds/Olsies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek kisses Stiles on Stiles's 18th birthday, gets scared, and runs away to Canada.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Find There But The Road Back Home Again

Derek was so cold he couldn’t feel anything, could barely _think_ anything. His breath was tight in his chest, each gasp a deeper cut to his lungs. _Eighteen_ , he thought to himself. _Eighteen? Eighteen what? Eighteen feet to death? To salvation? Eighteen inches of snow burying him in the Northwest Territories?_ He had no clue. All he knew was he could couldn’t move despite knowing he should or the snow would bury him and he had no idea how long he could be out there, quick healing or not. He just felt… So… tired…….

**ONE WEEK PRIOR**

Stiles Stilinski’s eighteenth birthday started small but turned into a three day road trip to Canada just so Stiles could prove he was an actual adult who could leave the country whenever he wanted and his dad couldn’t say shit.

“Why Canada and not Mexico?” Derek asked nervously. He didn’t want to go but idly sat on his bed as he watched Stiles piled Derek’s clothes in a duffle.

“Because it will take longer to get to Canada, and honestly everyone goes to Mexico and-”

“So remind me why I have to come?” Derek interrupted.

“Because we need your car… My Jeep’s in the shop…” Stiles explained, blushing.

“Ah,” Derek sighed. “Who all is going?”

“You, me, Scott, and Allison…” Stiles muttered from Derek’s closet where he was rooting through Derek’s shoes. “Perfect!” He yelled and came out with an old pair of sneakers. “Now you’re ready… Come on!”

Groaning, Derek followed the younger man down to where Scott and Allison stood waiting for them. They each had a backpack, jeans, sneakers, and were munching on sunflower seeds.

“Ready?” Allison asked offering the bag of seeds. Derek took a couple to be polite as Stiles handed Derek the shoes, obviously expecting him to change his shoes before they left.

“Why do we all have to wear tennis shoes?” Derek asked as they watched him, laughing. Once they were on, he got up, took his bag, and followed the others out to the car.

“Can I driver first?” Scott asked like the overeager puppy he was and Derek just laughed.

“No.” As they came in sight of the car, Stiles yelled, “Shotgun!” They threw their bags into the back of the Toyota and got in. Stiles plopped in the front seat, jamming his feet on the dashboard and plugging in his iPod before the others got in.

“You’re not going to force us to listen to Fall Out Boy the whole time, are you?” Allison griped as she buckled her seatbelt and kicked off her shoes.

“ _Coming in unannounced, drag my nails on the tile…_ ” Blasted from the radio and Stiles turned around in his seat and made a face at Allison.

“Why don’t you just _shake it off_?” Stiles stuck his tongue out at her and Derek turned the radio off.

“If you two are going to be like this the whole time, we don’t have to go,” Derek warned and Stiles made another face at Melissa.

“Yes, dad,” Allison and Stiles muttered at the same time and giggled at each other. Derek made a face as he closed his door and but his seatbelt on.

“And, Stiles?” Derek turned the radio back on but lowered the volume.

“Yeah?” Stiles asked.

“Get your feet off the dash…” Making a face and rolling his eyes, Stiles did as he was told.

The overall trip ut wasn’t terrible. They stopped every four hours or so and switched drivers, and eventually Allison did make them listen to Taylor Swift’s “Shake It Off,” but they all liked it so much they played it multiple times before they hit the Canadian border. They got through customs just fine and found a nice hotel to stay in before walking to a nearby restaurant, eager to stretch their legs. After dinner they went back to the hotel, exhausted. They’d gotten two rooms so Allison and Scott wouldn’t keep Stiles and Derek up all night with their screwing.

“Which bed do you want?” Stiles asked, pack in hand ready to flop on either bed.

“Window…” Derek muttered as he wandered into the bathroom to pee. When he got out, Stiles had stripped to his boxers and put a re-run of “The X-Files” on. Derek pulled off his sneakers and flopped on the bed, pillow over his eyes.

“Is the volume ok?” Stiles asked.

“‘S Fine…” Derek mumbled and rolled to face the darkened window. When he opened his eyes again, light peaked through the edges of the curtains and Derek could hear Stiles breathing softly in the bed over. Quietly, Derek rolled over and looked at the younger man, who was laying on his stomach, mouth open and drooling a little. His face was relaxed and softer, and Derek thought about what it would be like to get up, cross over to the other man’s bed, crawl under the blanket, and-

 _Snrk! Snort!_ “No, dad… ‘s… no- No!” Stiles shouted turning suddenly. Derek got up and went to Stiles’s bed, shaking him a little. He was covered in sweat.

“It’s alright! You’re safe!” Derek said as Stiles fought against him, trying to punch and claw. Derek shook him a little again and Stiles opened his eyes, gasping. “You’re ok…” Derek repeated and Stiles pulled Derek into a tight hug. He was shaking so hard it scared Derek a little. “This happen often?” Derek rubbed his hand across the back of Stiles’s neck.

“Yeah…” Stiles whispered, his grip loosening slightly. “I mean I had bad dreams before the nogitsune but after…” Derek squeezed him a little and they let each other go. Standing up, Derek watched Stiles fall back on the bed taking another deep breath.

“Happy birthday, Stiles…” Derek said softly and Stiles smiled up at him, taking his hand.

“What did you get me?” He asked as there was a loud pounding on the door. They jumped and Stiles giggled as Derek dropped his hand.

“Get up, Stiles! It’s your birthday, man!” Scott yelled. Stiles jumped up and went to the door, pulling it open and hugging Scott tightly.

“It’s my birthday!” Stiles yelled back.

“Get dressed so we can go get breakfast!” Scott yelled, slapping Stiles’s butt as he turned to go back to his room. Stiles went to his bed and pulled out his clothes. Derek changed his shirt and socks before brushing his teeth. Stiles brushed against him so he could brush his own teeth. They smiled at each other in the mirror as Scott pounded on the door again and they finished up so they could go eat breakfast.

The day itself was fairly uneventful. They went to the mall, did some shopping, saw a movie, and ate over priced french fries. It was nice to have a day that was normal, and wasn’t complicated by wolfy stuff. It was good just to be and live and breathe.

They went to dinner at some obnoxious seafood joint that sang “Happy Birthday” and gave Stiles a free cupcake. It was a good day. Back at the hotel, they all piled on Stiles’s bed watching crappy movies on cable until Derek was literally falling asleep on Stiles’s shoulder, drooling a little. After Scott and Allison were gone, Stiles snuggled into Derek’s side, kissed his cheek, and went to sleep.

Derek woke up in the middle of the night to Stiles having another nightmare. Holding him tight, Derek just whispered, “You’re safe, I’ve got you…” Over and over until Stiles woke up.

“I- I’m sorry…” He managed before he broked won in tears shoving his face in Derek’s shoulder.

“It’s ok…” Derek whispered, holding him tight. Eventually Stiles calmed down and relaxed in Derek’s arm. Not thinking about what it could mean, Derek kissed his forehead gently. Stiles sighed and pulled Derek’s mouth lower kissing his mouth tentatively. They looked at each other after they broke apart, and then Derek pulled Stiles closer, kissing him rougher and grinding against Stiles’s hips, groaning.

“Fuck…” Stiles groaned, breaking the kiss. He nuzzled Derek a little before moving to suck on Derek’s neck, leaving Derek to groan and rub his hand up and down Stiles’s body until he realized what was happening and pushed his way out of Stiles’s arms and off the bed. “Derek?” Stiles asked and Derek got up and rushed to the door, leaving. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. He knew the Sheriff- Chris- Fuck! How could he get mixed up with a human boy? He was so screwed.

He kept running until he found some woods, shifted, and run some more losing all track of time or space, focusing on not falling down a cliff or running into trees.

**ONE WEEK LATER**

Derek woke up in a soft bed in an unfamiliar room. In front of him was a plain wooden kitchen table. Behind that was a kitchen island with a stove. A wiry older man with soft blonde hair was cooking something. There were windows everywhere, but most of them were covered and shuttered. It was obviously some sort of cabin and it was so warm, and nice; the walls were bare wood, but there were bookshelves and a stereo, and it was really nice. A dog lay next to him and whined when he saw Derek was awake. He crawled closer to Derek, tongue flopping to lick him.

“You wake?” A voice called, looking over at him. “You hungry?” Derek nodded a little. He couldn’t remember the last time he ate. “Hope you like plain oatmeal…” Derek said nothing. “We haven’t been on a supply run because of the storms, but it’s finally clearing,” the man said pouring some oatmeal in a bowl. He handed it over and Derek took it. The dog sniffed at it hopefully and the man snapped, “Dief! Down!” The dog whined and got down; he padded over to a dog bed and curled up with a small _hrmph_. “Don’t let him make you think he doesn’t get scraps, because he does… But Fraser hates it when he eats oatmeal. Makes him fart.” Derek pulled himself up as he took a large bite, thankful to have _something_ hot to eat. When he was done, he went to get up but realized he was naked. The man took the bowl, seeming to sense his embarrassment.

“Fraser’s out getting you some better clothes… He found you in rags… He’ll be back in a few hours. My name’s Ray Kowalski, by the way… Who’re you?” Derek said nothing. “Strong silent type, eh? Well that’s fine… I can talk enough for the both of us. “I’m a retired cop from Chicago, just so you know… Fraser is my partner in every sense of the word, all puns and innuendos intended. That’s not going to be a problem, is it?” Derek shook his head, no.

“Good. That’s good…” Ray said. As he turned to do the dishes, Dief returned to the bed and curled up with Derek, licking his cheek. With a deep sigh, Derek buried his face in Dief’s soft fur and fell back to sleep.

He woke up a few hours later to the sound of heavy boots and the dog barking happily.

“Yes, Dief, I got the doughnuts, but you can’t have any until after dinner…” Dief whined and sat on his butt, pawing at the new man’s feet. “I don’t care… Besides, we have company.” Derek didn’t move, knowing he was hidden from view by the slight recess the bed was in. He wondered where the other two men slept, but found he didn’t really care. Dief woofed a little. “Are you awake?” The man called as Ray mumbled something from somewhere else in the cabin. “I was talking to our guest, Ray…” The man called back.

“No, he ain’t up,” Ray called back coming into Derek’s view not even looking at him.

“Didn’t wake-”

“He did, ate oatmeal, and went back to sleep.” The two men kissed. Need any help?” He asked.

“Yeah, there are a few more things out there…” The other man said.

“Be right back.” They kissed again and derek felt his heart constrict a little. That was all he wanted. Simple and sweet and- The new man peaked around the corner to find Derek glaring at him.

“Hello,” the man said. “I’m Constable Benton Fraser. What’s your name?” Derek glared. “You don’t have to be scared, son. I don’t know what you’re running from, but you’re safe here.” Silence. “I took the liberty of buying you some new clothes,” Fraser said. “Unfortunately, there was not a whole lot of selection, so just pick whatever you’ll wear, and we can return the rest…” Fraser put some packages on the end of the bed and left him alone. Eventually Derek pulled out the clothes and got dressed, not bothering to read any labels or anything. He got up and went to the front room where the others stood putting away groceries and supplies.

“What do you feel about chili for lunch?” Ray asked as they came back in.

 _Gotta be better than that oatmeal_ , Derek thought to himself as he crossed his arms, watching them.

“You’re not wrong there, son,” Fraser said without looking up from the cans he was sorting.

“How’s that?” Ray asked. Fraser looked up and over at Derek, eyebrow raised.

 _The fuck you looking at me for?_ Derek glared.

“Ah,” Fraser said, blushing and nodding a little. “Right…”

 _What the fuck?_ Derek thought to himself.

“Indeed,” Fraser agreed while Ray looked between them, frustration obviously growing. Turning back around, Derek went to the bed and flopped on it, burying his face in the pillows.

A few hours later, Ray went off to get something from outside and Fraser came and sat on the edge of the bed.

“Now, son, I just want to clarify something, ok?” Derek said nothing, and continued to stare at the wall. “Whats your name?” Derek sighed and shook his head. “Obviously you’re running from something, and I promise Ray and I will protect you in any way we can.” Sighing again, Derek rolled over to look up at those soft hazel eyes.

 _Derek_ , he thought, finding speaking too much still.

“Thank you,” Fraser said. “Now are you a lycanthrope? A werewolf?” Derek’s eyes widened and his heartbeat jackhammered in his chest.

_What-? How? Fuck!_

“I can’t read everyone’s minds, but I do have a special connection to wolves. I don’t know it has anything to do with the fact that when Dief and I met, he was partially deafend trying to save me, and so we had to open new ways of communication, or if it is something else, but just know you are safe here no matter who or what you are.” Derek bit his lip.

_Thank you._

“You are _most_ welcome…” Fraser said warmly as Ray came back in and Dief jumped on the bed still covered in snow. “Dief!” Fraser yelled, but Derek simply buried his face in Dief’s fur, finding himself tired once again.

When he next opened his eyes, it was dark but soft light from the moon spilled in from the window. Next to him, Dief was snoring away, his face shoved under Derek’s legs.

“What do you mean he’s a werewolf?” Ray asked, rustling his sheets.

“Ray, stop… Do you really think I would bring something could potentially harm you in this house?” Ray snorted. “And not tell you?”

“Whatever,” he mumbled. “All he’s done so far is eat and sleep. Dief approves too, so he can’t be that bad…”

“My sentiments exactly…” Fraser agreed. Derek snorted a littled and got up to try and find the bathroom. Immediately he tripped into a chair and fell with a grunt.

“Derek? You alright?” Fraser asked.

 _Fine, just- Bathroom?_ Fraser turned a light on and helped him up, pointing to the back corner.

“You came at a good time…” Fraser said. “We just got that hooked up so we don’t have to use the outhouse any more.” Derek nodded and went into the small bathroom. There was a large claw footed tub, an old sink, and a new toilet. The walls were plain, and the mirror chipped above the sink. Derek peed, flushed, washed his hands and went back out th where Ray and Fraser were waiting for him.

“You hungry? Thirsty?” Ray asked. “Fraser wants to make willow bark tea, but we got some instant cocoa…” Derek shrugged and his stomach growled loudly. “I’ll heat up some chili…” He went to the fridge and set about warming some food while Fraser made some tea and cocoa. Derek sat at the kitchen table, rubbing his face. A few minutes later, Derek was slurping the Chili down noisily and eventually washing it down with the cocoa while the two men watched him with some mixed amusement and concern. When he was done, Fraser got him a large glass of water.

“Are you still hungry? Do you want more?” Ray asked. Derek shook his head, no. He felt a lot more settled than he had in days, but already he was wishing he was back in bed.

“You can take a bath if you want…” Ray said gently. “We got good soap, clean towels, and hot water. No TV, but you can borrow my laptop and watch Netflix… I made Fraser get wifi a few years ago when it became available. It can be so quiet here and takes some time getting used to…” Derek nodded as Fraser began collecting a towel and Ray’s laptop. They left him alone retreating to a space behind a curtain. Derek got up slowly and went to the bathroom where he stripped and put _Supernatural_ on without thinking. It wasn’t even that he liked the show but Stiles did, and so even though thoughts of Stiles made him anxious, he changed it to “Yellow Fever” and turned the water on. Once the tub was half full, he sank into the warm water and let the heat wash over him. On the screen Dean Winchesters grew more and more anxious. It was nice to hear a familiar voice. Derek eventually washed his hair and body before getting out. He pulled on fresh clothes and after leaving the computer on the table, he curled up in the bed next to Dief and fell into a fitful sleep.

***

Three weeks later, Derek had fallen into a pattern with the men. He helped them work on the house and catch fish for dinner. They seemed perfectly content to let him be, never really forcing conversation on him or asking anything about himself. It was nice even if Derek knew it couldn’t and wouldn’t last.

One day after fishing all day, Derek stood next to Ray in the kitchen preparing the fish, Ray turned to Derek and took a deep breath.

“I don’t want you to think you aren’t welcome here, but don’t you have friends or family looking for you?” Ray asked. Derek looked down at the fish guts and shrugged a little.

“My family is dead…” He managed. Dief rushed outside, barking.

“Oh…” Ray continued to clean the fish, moving guts aside. “But- I- is your pack your family?” Derek bit his lip.

“I- I have some friends… But I don’t- I can’t see them…”

“Well, I-” Ray finished with the last fish and shoved the guts in a bucket. “You don’t- Kid, I don’t know what you’ve been through, but-”

“Ray!” Fraser snapped as he came in with Dif and an armful of firewood. Ray jumped, dropping the bucket and cursing. After cleaning up the fish guts, Derek left for a run. The weather had warmed up quite a lot, but it was still cold. When he got back, Fraser was sitting on the porch working on a wood carving. Trying to catch his breath, Derek sat on the steps near Fraser.

“Ray means well…” Fraser said.

 _Sure he does…_ Fraser frowned at the wood but didn’t look up.

“I have to admit I am also curious… You keep your mind well guarded when thinking about home.” Despite himself, he thought of Stiles leaning over a milkshake and fries to tell Derek some something or other, laughing. “He is very young…”

 _His age is only a small part of the problem… It is so much more complicated…_ Fraser nodded.

“Before Ray and I were able to really talk to each other about our feelings, there was a chance for me to leave Chicago, Ray and I had the worst fight of our entire relationship. We didn’t yet know how to communicate except through our fists and bodies. Eventually, with time and a lot of missteps, we learned…”

 _But there is so much. Hunters… his father is a sheriff… The boy_ just _turned eighteen and I can’t- I’m scared I won’t be able to give him what he wants…_

“How can you know what he wants if you don’t talk to him?” Fraser asked as Ray came out.

“Hey, Derek…” Ray said. “Sorry about earlier…” Derek shrugged. He felt tired again.

“I’ll make dinner…” He said and got up and went in the cabin and began cooking the fish.

After dinner, Ray and Fraser curled up on the couch watching “The X-Files” while Derek lay on his bed reading a book Fraser had lent him. When Fraser got up to pee, Derek put his book down.

“My last name is Hale, and I live in Beacon Hills…” Derek confessed to the ceiling. Ray looked up from his popcorn.

“Do you want me to get in touch with the local PD there?”

“Yeah…” Derek said. “Yeah… Ask for Sheriff Stilinski… He- he knows me…” Ray nodded and began typing away on his computer as Derek turned and faced the wall. Getting off the couch, Dief padded softly to Derek, jumping up on the bed to settle behind him with a small huff. Coming out of the bathroom, Fraser paused by the bed.

“Good for you…” He whispered. Derek grunted into the pillows and went to sleep wondering how long he would have to wait before Stiles was pounding down the door.

The next morning, he didn’t ask who they had gotten ahold of, and the men didn’t supply it. They had a normal day of the work around the house, fishing, and anything to keep busy. They went on like this for three days. Derek started retreating in himself again, becoming more and more nonverbal. Dief sensed his tension and stayed close to Derek so he could nuzzle or lick Derek whenever things got too much.

The fourth day, Derek didn’t even get out of bed. He didn’t know what he expected. He was a grown man and had obviously made a decision. There was no reason anyone should come follow him, especially after the way he left them.

Near dusk, Fraser stood by the bed, a bowl of clam chowder in hand.

“You’ll feel better if you eat something…” Fraser said. Derek didn’t move and Fraser sighed. “All right. I’ll leave the soup here for a while… Eat it if you get hungry…” He put the bowl on the table and retreated to his bed with ray. Derek must have fallen asleep and woke up to loud voices and the sound of pounding.

“Derek Hale! Get your furry ass out here so we can kick it!” Stiles yelled and was followed by the sound of a scuffle.

“We’re not going to hurt you, Derek!” Scott called. “Your pack just wants to have a _civil_ conversation with you.” Ray got up and opened the door. Stiles, Scott, Allison, Lydia, and Isaac all came in. Derek thought about crawling deep under the covers but instead got up, his face neutral, heart racing.

“See, he’s alive and not hurt!” Stiles growled. “Let’s go.” He turned to leave but Isaac stood in the way.

“We did not come over three thousand miles for you to _not_ talk to him…” Isaac said.

“I don’t even want to be in the same room as him…” Stiles said and Scott rolled his eyes.

“I’m sorry…” Derek muttered, scratching his arm.

“Sorry? _Sorry_?!” Stiles yelled, near tears. “Oh, yes, that fixes everything! That fixes the last six weeks of not knowing where the fuck you were! _That fixes you leaving me alone on my birthday in Canada!_ Fuck you, Derek Hale!”

“Stiles…” Allison tried, but Stiles glared at her. No one said anything.

“You’re right,” Derek whispered. “It doesn’t- I- Can I explain… Can we go outside?”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to be alone with you right now, Derek. I don’t know that I will be able to control myself…” Stiles spat out.

“I was scared, Stiles…” Stiles laughed again, but with a lot less spite. Scott rubbed Stiles’s shoulder. “I _am_ scared… All your friends came to Inuvik to figure out what the hell happened between us…”

“No,” Scott growled. “Your pack came to get their idiot of an alpha back!” Derek blushed a little.

“I didn’t think- I didn’t know-”

“Oh my gawd, Derek!” Lydia shook her head. “You have some serious problems if you can’t see how much your leaving would affect us all.” Derek blushed more. He stared at the floor unable to look at them any more.

“I just… I can’t give you what you want… Stiles… I can’t give you what you want…” Stiles rolled his eyes.

“Like you know what I want…”

“Damnit I can’t…” He pushed his way past everyone, but Fraser stood in front of the door, hands behind his back.

“I can’t let you leave,” Fraser said. “Just try…” Derek took a deep breath.

 _I. Can’t!_ Fraser just looked at him. Sighing, Derek turned around and grabbed Stiles in a rough hug that Stiles did not return. Taking a deep breath, Derek leaned closer and whispered in Stiles’s ear, “I’m scared I won’t be enough for you because I’m ace…” Stiles shoved out of Derek’s arms.

“Really? You fucking- You-” And then Stiles punched Derek in the ear and then kissed him full on the mouth, jumping in his arms. Derek tried to break the kiss, but Stiles just wrapped his arms around him. “No you fucking loser, I’m never letting you go. You never get another moment to yourself. This is how we will live because you’re an idiot and I love you. But also I hate you. Asshole…”

“What?” Derek asked trying to pry Stiles back, but he refused. “What happened?”

“I’m ace, too, and I hate you you stupid beautiful asshole.”

“Wait…” Isaac said. “This whole thing is because… Derek, you are an idiot!”

Forty five minutes later, Fraser and Ray had pulled out more blankets and for the extra people. He tried to offer up their bed, but with the pull out bed and cushions that were put on the floor, everyone had space and blankets even if half the people in the cabin wanted to kill Derek.

The next morning, Ray and Fraser fed them all a huge breakfast and made sure they had enough supplies in the car in case of a freak blizzard. Derek was the last one to leave, hesitant to go. Fraser came up behind him, a hand on his shoulder.

“It’s scary, I know,” he whispered. “But that boy loves you. Those people love you… You just gotta let ‘em in. Trust them…” Derek nodded and turned to look at Fraser.

“Thank you. For everything… You saved my life so many times…” Ray shoved Derek in the middle of the back onto the porch.

“One, he’s my boyfriend. Two, get out of here before you get stormed in and I have to look at your ugly faces for another three weeks.” Derek waved a little.

“Thanks, Ray…” He said and Scott beeped the horn.

“Get in, loser, or we’ll leave your ass at the fucking North Pole forever!” Scott called. Next to him, Stiles was adjusting blankets, snacks, and the iPod so Derek could chose music too. In the back, Allison and Lydia were already reading books, and Isaac was playing a game on his phone.

“You have our contact info. We expect updates,” Ray said waving. Derek waved back and went to the car, snuggling in next to Stiles, hoping that in the next four days he could make up for leaving his pack.

They immediately started making him pay by listening to “Shake It Off” for four hours straight followed by three hours of “Call Me Maybe.”


End file.
